“It’s hard…it’s hard changing your life. It’s hard picking up the pieces and starting all over again. It’s hard getting your mind together after you’ve gone through a life shaking experience (being a primary caregiver for someone; hearing a diagnosis you didn’t want; starting over again from a loss of any kind; being alone in a new place; wanting a friend.) But you can do hard. You can weather the storm. You will come through this.
Affirm to yourself every day ~ several times a day. No matter how hard it gets…I’m going to make it!! Stand up inside yourself and look yourself in the eyes and say “I can do hard!!” Exercise, pray, seek solitude, allow for periods of sadness…but know that you will get through this. Keep the faith; continue to work; and expect to make it through. You may not be able to change your circumstances or situation…but, you can change yourself! Hold on! You can do hard! You have GREATNESS within you!” — Les Brown
The young woman, Hiliary Hoffner, pictured above, has the same rare life threatening condition that I have. We almost lost her a year ago. She was hospitalized for 4 1/2 months. She fought hard. She’s a warrior. Today she’s doing quite well, engaged to the man of her dreams planning a wonderful future together!
When you’re going through hard times, remember, this too shall pass!
Sometimes we get in a bad mood and can’t pull out of it. But sometimes it just takes something simple to put you in a good mood! And avoid bad moods!
I’ve seen this stuff work! Even for people with medication-induced moodiness! Give them a try!
Count Your Blessings
Scientifically proven to improve your mood and even combat depression. Counting 50 things you’re thankful for everyday really improves your mood! You don’t have to sit down and list them, you don’t have to jot them down. Just do it in your head, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing and if it takes all day, that’s ok. If you repeat items from previous lists, that’s ok, too! So when a bad mood strikes, get started! Think about what you’re thankful for! You will notice that it improves your mood! Great mood enhancer!
Meditation and prayer helps alleviate anxiety, stress and depression. It really helps improve your mood. You can YouTube some guided meditations.
5. Eat Well
The foods we eat greatly affect how we feel both physically and mentally. Eat clean. Eliminate fast food and junk food. Get your nutrient-dense-super-foods smoothie/juice on! For more on this, follow my blog!
I used to be a skeptic, but aromatherapy is an effective treatment protocol! Now Brand: Cheer Up Buttercup is a blend of essential oils that improve mood. There’s a link below.
7 Foods that Improve Mood
8. Herbs and Supplements
Omega-3 Fish Oil
St John’s Wort
I’ve included some links below to some of my favorite brands of these supplements.
Use this great drug interaction checker before using supplements with medications:
Not only is this cinnamon toast medicinal, it really is delicious! It’s the recipe recommended in my “Bag of Tricks” for fighting colds, flus and allergies!
Another one of my recipe makeovers! Simple, Delicious, and extremely healthy.
Even yummier than the old-fashioned-traditional cinnamon toast which was heavily laden with processed white sugar and often made with refined white bread. Really unhealthy! This recipe is not only healthy, it’s medicinal! It fights colds and flus and pollen allergies! And more!
Toasted organic non-gmo whole grain bread of your choice or gluten-free, etcetera (nonorganic GMO bread is pro-inflammatory, avoid it!)
Organic virgin coconut oil (virgin is yummy while refined is not yummy)
Raw local honey (available at farmers markets, local apiaries, and natural food stores)
Spread toast liberally with coconut oil
Drizzle liberally with honey
Sprinkle liberally with cinnamon
Note: For added health benefits and flavor, try Chocolate Cinnamon Toast by sprinkling with organic cocoa!
I’ve had this when I feel a cold coming on and I feel it being stopped in its tracks upon eating a slice of this delicious medicinal toast! Don’t wait for cold and flu season, enjoy it year-round, as it has many health benefits! Raw local honey fights seasonal pollen allergies!
*You may want to cut back on the quantity of honey though, if consuming regularly, or if you have diabetes.
*Increase the cinnamon if you have diabetes!
Some of the Benefits
Organic non-gmo whole grain toast: anti-inflammatory, reduces chronic inflammation, gastrointestinal health, lowers risk of diabetes, high in fiber
Coconut oil: antimicrobial, fights colds and flus, anti-inflammatory, long list of health benefits
Raw local honey: cough suppressant, anti-allergen, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, rich in enzymes
Cinnamon: antimicrobial, fights colds and flus, anti-inflammatory, protects against diabetes
Cocoa: fights allergies, antioxidants, blood vessel health
Note: I’ve included some links to some my favorite brands. That is a great deal on the coconut oil!
The answer is: actually everyone needs anti-inflammatory superfoods!
You can unknowingly have chronic inflammation for years before becoming symptomatic.
Chronic inflammation is an epidemic that leads to countless debilitating, painful and even life-threatening diseases. Many of them are auto-immune.
“It’s important to realize that dietary components can either trigger or prevent inflammation from taking root in your body. If you have not already addressed your diet, this would be the best place to start, regardless of whether you’re experiencing symptoms of chronic inflammation or not.” – Dr. Joseph Mercola
Implementing an anti-inflammatory superfoods regimen prior to symptoms is a very good lifestyle practice in an effort to avoid inflammatory health issues which can be extremely difficult to deal with once you become symptomatic.
“Anti-Inflammatory Foods Can Transform Your Health. Patients who consumed anti-inflammatory foods found enough relief that they were able to discontinue at least one of their medications. ” – Dr. Josh Axe
When I was pursuing my degree in holistic nutrition, I did in-depth research reports on anti-inflammatory superfoods & supplements; and auto-immune superfoods, I covered auto-immune superfoods recently and now I want to cover anti-inflammatory foods.
When I first started searching for anti-inflammatory foods and diets, it was unheard of! Now many books have been written on the subject and it’s a household term!
Pro-inflammatory foods to be aware of, cut out, cut back on
Processed white foods: flour and sugar and the foods that contain them: most baked goods – opt for organic, whole grain baked goods.
Top 15 vs My Extensive List
I have an extensive list of anti-inflammatory foods and herbs that I’ve researched and compiled, much too long for this blog, so I’m including here, The Top 15 according to Dr. Axe, with a few health benefits in addition to each one being anti-inflammatory.
And if you’d like my much longer list, an accumulation of many scientists and doctors lists, I will be happy to email it to you!
The Top 15 Anti-Inflammatory Superfoods (organic is best: GMO and pesticides make them pro-inflammatory!!)
Dark Green Leafy Veggies: antioxidants, restores cellular health (hide in fruit/berry smoothies if you don’t like veggies! Watch for recipes!);
Bok Choy: powerhouse of antioxidants, vitamins, minerals;
Celery: improves blood pressure and cholesterol, heart health;
Beets: repair cell damage caused by inflammation;
Broccoli: antioxidant powerhouse, anti-cancer (hide in smoothies!)
Blueberries: antioxidant powerhouse, improves cognitive and motor function;
Pineapple: immune system health, fights blood clots, heart health;
Wild Alaskan Salmon: omega-3, brain function (avoid farmed salmon at all costs!)
Bone Broth: rich in minerals, heals leaky gut, fights colds and flues;
One of the greatest gifts my mother ever gave me was teaching me how to survive and thrive when medical care is needed – with advocacy, exercising my rights as a patient, second opinions, research – and good manners.
My mom never allowed a doctor to be in complete control of her medical care decisions just because s/he had ‘MD’ behind his/her name.
When she was diagnosed with breast cancer and told she had to have a mastectomy and start chemo and radiation right away, she asked for a second opinion. She also went to the library and checked out every book on cancer treatment in print, as it was the 70’s and we didn’t have Google. She checked out medical journals and researched her options. She learned that they had a great and successful cancer treatment in Mexico that was illegal in the U.S. She learned how to eat and juice to combat cancer. She jumped through hoops until she was able to obtain the Mexico cancer treatment. She beat breast cancer without chemo, without radiation, without mastectomy. And without losing a single hair or ever being sick! Not one day was she sick! She was healthy through it all! Go figure!
I was only nine years old, but this spoke volumes to me.
My mom advocated for many friends and relatives over the years, demanding the medical care they needed when healthcare providers fell short.
I learned a lot from her example. Valuable lessons.
Never blindly trust a doctor or nurse. They are only human and they make mistakes.
Q. What do you call someone who graduated at the bottom of their class from medical school?
The Nurse from Hell: My Mom to the Rescue
With my third baby, I had placenta previa, where the placenta is born before the baby and both mom and baby bleed to death in seven minutes. I was scheduled for a c-section with orders to go to the nearest hospital by ambulance for an emergency c-section should my water break. And so my water broke and we called 911 and went by ambulance to the nearest hospital where the nurse wouldn’t allow me to see a doctor! I explained that I had placenta previa and needed an emergency c-section and she told me I would be giving birth naturally. Yes, she was the dingbat nurse from hell. And I was in no position to stand up and walk out and catch a ride to the next closest hospital. I had to stay prone. I was alone as my husband had to wait for our childcare provider to arrive before he could join me at the hospital. So I called my mom. It was around 4am. She was sound asleep but she managed to get dressed and to the hospital in less than a half-hour. And she advocated for me and quickly convinced those dingbat nurses that it was in their best interest to have me transferred by ambulance to a hospital that would provide proper medical care for me and not put my baby’s life and my life in danger for one more minute.
Had I listened to that nurse, my third and fourth sons and I probably wouldn’t be here.
My mom was the one to have in your corner if you needed an advocate for your medical care. But she also taught me how to advocate for myself and I’ve had to many times over the years.
They Told Me to Abort
When I was pregnant with my twins, I was told the pregnancy was causing my breathing issues and I needed to abort right away. But I had the breathing issues before I was pregnant so the pregnancy didn’t cause the problem and I surmised that an abortion wouldn’t solve the problem. They also said I needed to have a tracheotomy right away although my breathing crisis had passed a week prior and I was now breathing ok. I just got up and walked out of the room. Didn’t say a word. Just walked out. As I was walking away, I heard my husband tell those doctors, “well, looks like that’s a no, bye now.” I didn’t even say good-bye.
Had I listened to those doctors, my twins wouldn’t be here.
Another time I was hospitalized for days and never saw a doctor! They starved me everyday for procedures that were cancelled everyday. I asked to see a doctor everyday and they never came! I would call for a nurse when I needed a breathing treatment and wait forever while in respiratory distress. I was going downhill. I finally called my mom and my husband to come bust me out. I went to another hospital and got the medical care I needed.
And then last year my trachea was both collapsed and stenosed (inflamed and narrowed). The collapse was more than likely due to the years of stenosis and the hospital I was in wouldn’t do a procedure I needed called a tracheal dilation and insisted instead on a permanent tracheostomy which would render me mute for life. But I questioned them and I researched from my hospital bed thanks to Google and my smart phone and I made phone calls and sent emails to other doctors in other hospitals and got second and third opinions and there was a much better option –the dilation– and the good folks at Cleveland Clinic said, “we got this! Come to us!” But a psychopath quack at my current hospital lied to me and told me that the doctors in Cleveland agreed that tracheostomy/muteness was my only option of walking out of the hospital alive! But I had the emails from the doctors in Cleveland saying they could do the dilation and no way should I have the tracheostomy! I read the emails to them. You could have cut the air with a knife. So I busted outa that hospital with the help of my husband and two of my sons – and one son flew with me to Cleveland where they promptly fixed he problem and provided excellent medical care – after begging these other doctors to fix it for over two decades – before it was so severe.
I can breathe well now! And I can still talk!
Had I not done my research, had I not sought more opinions, and had I listened to those doctors, I wouldn’t be able to talk and I’d have a permanent tracheostomy.
Recently, a nurse called to schedule gallbladder removal surgery for me. But I questioned her and as she looked over the doctor’s notes, she gushed an apology, she had read the doctor’s notes wrong! She’s a good nurse, but she’s human, she made a mistake! I’ve been symptom-free for over a year, not needing my gallbladder removed!
Had I blindly gone along and not asked questions, I would have had the unnecessary surgery and lost an organ.
Ask questions! Advocate for yourself!
I used acupuncture and herbs to resolve my gallstone issues!
Another Example of Human Error
My latest example of why it’s so important to advocate for yourself. I’ve started back at physical therapy because I have adhesive capsulitis, aka frozen shoulder, thanks to medication side effects. So my first few sessions, I felt like they weren’t really addressing my shoulder issues, so I spoke up and found out my order was written wrong! Somehow my shoulder issues weren’t on my requisition. So she worked on my shoulder for about a half-hour and added exercises specific to my shoulder issues. And my shoulder was much improved after just one session! Speak up when things seem amiss.
Had I not said anything, my shoulder issues would have continued to go unaddressed.
And it’s Important to Teach our Kids to Advocate for Themselves
My youngest son had a skiing accident which required stitches. The ski lodge medic butterflied it. He skied all day with his injury. And at the end of the day when he got his stitches at an urgent medical care facility, he advocated for himself, refused unnecessary vaccinations and educated the nurses on vaccinations and the laws regarding vaccinations, which he knew more about than they did! Every time I felt like I needed to speak up and defend his rights, he did it himself! And he did it very respectfully. He informed them that he would need to research the vaccine before allowing it. At barely fifteen years old! I was so proud of him!
Mom or dad wont always be there, it’s important that our kids know their medical care rights and how to advocate for themselves.
Firing Medical Professionals
There’s been times that I’ve been in the hospital and had to fire a doctor or nurse or respiratory therapist due to shoddy care.
Refusing Tests and Procedures
I’ve questioned and refused unnecessary procedures and medications. Including some blood draws because every four hours isn’t always necessary, sometimes it is but not always, and if you don’t ask, they just do it. I want an explanation.
Know your rights
It’s your right to refuse anything when you’re a patient.
It’s your right and responsibility to ask questions.
It’s your right to fire folks and have them replaced.
It’s your right to second and third and even more opinions.
It’s your right to contact doctors at other hospitals.
It’s your right to leave a hospital without discharge.
It’s your right to ask to be transferred to another hospital – they may not comply – in which case you do it yourself with the help of friends or family.
It’s your right to request an advocate.
There are advocate agencies, but they are usually pretty pricey. But you can call around your area. Some hospitals provide professional patient advocates and you can request one, contact patient services. If a professional is unavailable and you’re struggling with advocating for yourself, call a friend or family member.
Last year I was hospitalized 200 miles from home and there were meetings with doctors that required I have an advocate other than myself, my son was living in the area and got off work several times to attend these meetings with me.
When there are “meetings“ you definitely need an advocate other than yourself.
I would highly recommend recording said meetings and other talks with doctors because it’s hard to remember everything and it’s in your best interest to do so. All smart phones have “tape-recording” capabilities.
Take notes and write down questions to ask when the doctor/team of doctors come in. Ask for paper and pen.
Healthcare Providers as Advocates
Many times my nurses, respiratory therapists, and doctors, have stepped up to the plate and advocated for me when things were amiss! Love them!
Friends and Family
If you have a loved one in the hospital, try to be there as much as possible to advocate for them. And keep them company! It’s great to have a friend or family member advocate for you.
“One thing I tell people is if you have a sick family member, don’t leave them alone in the hospital. Even when there are visiting hours where you’re supposed to go home, I’ll tell people, find any way that you can to stay anyway, because when you’re sick is the last moment when, as a patient, you’re able to fend for yourself.” – Dr Atul Gawande
Be at the hospital with loved ones as much as possible. When you have to leave, try to arrange for someone else to be there. Attend doctor appointments with loved ones who need an extra set of ears or advocacy. For follow-up appointments after a hospitalization, having an extra set of ears or someone who can help describe your symptoms/progress is valuable.
And when there’s no one who can advocate for you, you absolutely must advocate for yourself. I’ve had to many times. Remember to hit record when talking to doctors.
I’ve also learned to ask for stuff they don’t prescribe or offer. Such as vitamins and probiotics! They don’t prescribe them but if you ask, you get them! If they stock them.
Most hospitals have items to borrow or check out such as laptops – but if you don’t ask, it’s not always offered. Ask for volunteer services or patient services. They’ve brought me coloring pages and markers! (I’ve included links at the end for a wonderful adult coloring book, good to take with you, or take to a loved one in the hospital, they help pass the time and really help alleviate anxiety!) They have books and magazines and other things to make your stay more pleasant. But you have to ask or it seems they don’t show up until you’re being discharged. They are volunteers so be kind.
And When You Have Good Care, Say Thank You!
My nurses, doctors, housekeeping staff, food service staff, et al, are amazed when I thank them! They rarely get thanked! Are you kidding me?! Another thing my mom taught me was good manners! Good manners and treating my medical care providers with respect has gained me private rooms, extra pillows, extra chairs for my visitors, over the limit of visitors, musician visitors and other perks!
I had a nurse tell me I was bumped up on the waiting list and got a private room because I was such a pleasant and nice person. One nurse even referred to me as ‘lovely’ and we are friends to this day! I’ve had great nurses request me because I’m respectful and friendly and I say thank you. It’s really nice to have a great nurse request you instead of getting the luck of the draw nurse.
Show some respect and appreciation for these people who devote their lives to caring for others. They want to be at home with their families or outside enjoying nature, but they are devoted to helping others achieve health and wellness. It’s not just a job, it’s their calling, they are worth their weight in gold and they deserve our gratitude. I greet them when they come in and thank them when they leave and strike up conversations whenever I can. I even thank phlebotomists… they’re just doing their job in an effort to help you.
So I want to pass along to you the valuable gifts my mother passed along to me and I’m passing along to my kids: Patient self-advocacy, knowing and exercising your rights, the importance of research – and second, third, fourth opinions. And saying thank you!
Here’s to surviving as a patient ♥️
Reference: My mom, Bonnie Purington Conlow Graig, in loving memory, thanks mom ♥️
If you hate oatmeal, this is the recipe for you! Try it!
I used to hate oatmeal! And I still can’t stand traditionally prepared oatmeal.
But I know how nutritious it is so I was determined to make it palatable. I have an issue with textures and traditional oatmeal is over-cooked in my opinion and the texture is unbearable for me! So I experimented until it was not just bearable, but delicious!
Highly recommended for anyone with a chronic inflammatory condition.
All ingredients are anti-inflammatory!
Note: I’ve included some links to some of the ingredients. They were the best deals I found on some of my favorite brands!
All ingredients have a long list of health benefits – superfoods!
Oats (not quick oats) (preferably thick cut)
Coconut oil (a delicious brand such as Nutiva)
Raw local honey
Other healthy toppings/mix ins of your choice
Barely cook the oatmeal in a small amount of water. I cook it for a minute or two tops. If you have excess water, add more oats or pour water off and cook a few more seconds.
Add other ingredients and enjoy!
My brother’s secret is to cook it in chai tea! But pure water is good to keep it simple.
Just a few of heath benefits in addition to being anti-inflammatory:
Oats: lowers cholesterol, heart health, high in fiber
Autoimmune diseases affect one in five families. How we eat is crucial.
This is a list I compiled when I was in college, pursuing my degree in holistic nutrition. The assignment was to compile a “new list of super foods,” so I researched and chose foods specific to autoimmune and vasculitis diseases. I’ve updated it to include the newly discovered superfoods that benefit autoimmune conditions.
Note: These are in addition to the well known nutrient-dense superfoods, such as coconut oil. (I’ve included some links to some at the end. They were the best deals I found on some of my favorite brands!)
To top off the list: Bone Broth! (Link at end)
Recent research reveals that bone broth is an autoimmune superfood! But it can’t just be chicken or beef or fish broth, where the bones are cooked quickly, the bones need to cook for at least 6 hours and preferably longer to reap the benefits! Adding a couple tablespoons of organic raw vinegar helps extract all the beneficial nutrients! Great Grandma was onto something back in the day with taking all day or even a couple days to make that good old fashioned chicken noodle soup which is scientifically proven to fight off colds and flus as well as autoimmune diseases and many other health benefits! Run of the mill canned chicken noodle soup will not provide the outstanding level benefits as the bones are not cooked long enough. It has to be labeled ‘organic bone broth’ – or make your own. Watch for the recipe!
2. Glutathione – the mother is all anti-oxidants (link at end)
Plays a crucial role in immune function. Essential for preventing and fighting autoimmune disorders.
Studies have shown that people who have autoimmune diseases are deficient in glutathione.
Note: This is important to know if you have an autoimmune disease and you have children as autoimmune diseases run in families, so make sure your children have sufficient levels of glutathione in an effort to prevent the diseases.
When glutathione is deficient, all other antioxidants and vitamins are deficient as a result, as glutathione is necessary for their absorption.
Until now glutathione supplements fell short as it’s hard to absorb, but now we have the new ‘setria glutathione’ which is readily available and absorbable. Read the label and make sure it’s “setria.” (I’ve included a link for this type of glutathione at the end.)
Foods rich in glutathione include: spinach, potatoes, asparagus, avocado, squash, okra, cauliflower, broccoli, walnuts, garlic and tomatoes;
3. Fermented Foods
Sauerkraut, kimchi, Greek yogurt, kombucha, pickles, miso, raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar, and other fermented foods. The fermentation creates probiotics, which greatly benefits gut heath! Improved gut health equals improved overall health! Autoimmune diseases and other health issues have been linked to gut health, so heal the gut with fermented foods and heal the immune system! Fermented foods also help boost and maintain energy levels.
Note: Raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar is a fermented food. BACV (Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar) or similar brand – must be raw, organic, unfiltered, ‘with the mother.’ – Reduces moonface caused by steroids, increased energy, long list of health benefits; improves gut health and ph balance, and so many other health benefits. 1-3 T day can really help overcome fatigue as well as many other health issues! No matter what your level of health is, it’s beneficial.
How to consume raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar, such as Bragg’s:
1-3 T/day, diluted in water, juice or Emergen-C. Add raw local honey if needed. I usually add 3 T to several ounces of water and sip throughout the day. But mixing with Emergen-C is the most palatable, IMHO, and it will give you quick energy without a letdown!
4.High Quality Organic Undenatured Whey Protein
It increases glutathione production, immune system support, promotes weight loss, improves cognitive performance, reduces blood pressure, controls appetite. Whey protein contains all the amino acids the body needs in the best possible balance (also alleviates the sweet-tooth!);
5&6. Sockeye Salmon & Sardines (in it’s own oil)
High omega-3’s to fight inflammation, increased brain function, combats depression and mood swings, good for memory, and blood sugar control. Also good for kidney health.
Note: I choose sockeye salmon over all others because: “it is never farmed, it’s always wild, from the pristine seas of Alaska, where they feed on omega-3 rich krill and the waters are cleaner than most anywhere on the planet. And sockeye do not live as long as other species of salmon so therefore do not accumulate the toxins that other choices may accumulate.” – Dr. Andrew Weil;
7&8. Maitake and Shitake Mushrooms – For counteracting fatigue and nausea caused by chemo drugs, as well as help prevent some of the damaging side effect of chemo drugs. Immune system support. Available in pill/capsule form;
9&10. Black and Green Tea – Black for the quick repair of damaged blood vessels; Green for reducing the risks of blood clots, strokes and weight gain and improving mood and increased relaxation. Both teas are anti-inflammatory. They are packed with powerful anti-oxidants;
11. Yerba Maté(link at end)- Has all the benefits of green tea tenfold. Plus bone Health. And a great Fatigue Buster/Energy Booster;
12. Rosemary – Fights inflammation of the respiratory system! Protects the liver, anti-biotic, anti-viral, improves brain function, memory, and disease of the head and brain;
13. Thyme – Anti-inflammatory, aids digestion, long history of relieving respiratory problems, including cough and bronchitis;
14. Avocados – Anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, good for eyes and skin, contains glutathione;
15. Cherries – Anti-inflammatory, good for respiratory health and allergies;
16. Raisins – Bone health, anti-inflammatory;
17. Turmeric/curcumin – Anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, anti-diabetes, protects the liver, long list of health benefits, including pain reduction (take with black pepper to increase absorption, most supplements include pepper – pepper improves absorption of all nutrients);
Raising a family is both rewarding and challenging.
The challenges are exacerbated when mom or dad has a serious/chronic illness.
I raised five children while battling a serious chronic illness. As well as having legal guardianship of non-biological children – and being a “mom” to lots of children/teens/young adults. This is our family!
Putting yourself first
This is a foreign concept to most moms. It seems that when we give birth a hormone kicks in that says not only does this baby come first, but so does everyone else in my life: spouse, parents, everyone – and I come last. It even happened to me before I gave birth – when I became a stepmom.
But I was sick and I had four young sons still living at home and a husband and legal guardianship of another child. I was putting all of them first and myself last. It’s what comes natural and it’s what good moms do. But even healthy able-bodied moms need to put themselves first sometimes. And for those of us with chronic illness, it’s an absolute must.
I realized one day that if I didn’t start putting myself first, I wouldn’t be around to see my sons to adulthood.
I had to learn to say no when I didn’t feel up to taking them somewhere. I had to learn to cancel plans when necessary.
I still made/make plans, keeping in mind, they may have to be cancelled. More on dealing with that later.
Take care of yourself. Rest when you need to. The kids can go outside or to a friend’s house or read a book. It’s healthy for kids to learn to entertain themselves.
They also need to do their own laundry. They can learn this very young, mine all did.
If it comes down to the kids needing new shoes or you needing something for health purposes, those shoes can wait. Your health can’t. Shoe Goo works great!
It seems selfish to put yourself first, but for those of us battling chronic illness, it’s actually a selfless necessity in order to achieve our best health possible – for the sake of our families.
Put yourself first. It’s essential.
How much do you tell your kids?
It depends on how old they are. Don’t scare them with details they don’t need to hear. But explain why some days you can’t get out of bed or off the sofa or why you have to watch their soccer game from inside your car instead of the bleachers. Why you can’t always bake them a birthday cake and it has to come from a bakery or store. Why Thanksgiving dinner has to be store-bought already cooked. Explain why they need to quietly entertain themselves and let you take a nap. Naps are very important for our health.
Doctors orders: no housework! If only insurance covered housekeepers for seriously/chronically ill and disabled people! If you can afford a housekeeper, do it! I had one when my kids were little, great investment. And even young children can do some chores to help mom or dad out and at the very least, pick up after themselves. Keep the chores for kids age-appropriate. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have an emaculate home. Clean enough to be healthy is my goal.
As for feeding the family, there’s times you can’t grocery shop or cook. I’ve had wonderful friends who’ve brought meals and groceries! I am forever grateful! I also used a grocery/meal delivery service and now there are so many to choose from!
Keep meals and snacks healthy, nutritious, and SIMPLE! Slaving over a hot stove isn’t in your best interest when you have a serious/chronic illness. It will take a toll. I will continue to post simple, healthy, delicious recipes. Stay tuned!
For several years, Thanksgiving was “catered” by a restaurant or grocery store/super market. I just could not manage a feast on that scale anymore. We had Thanksgiving at a restaurant too, but I like leftovers so I prefer to have it at home. So “catered” it was – with the addition one or two of my favorite recipes.
When my sons were old enough, they voluntarily took over and did all the Thanksgiving cooking! That meant the turkey was wrapped with bacon like a mummy! It was a fabulous feast!
All my sons have grown up to be great cooks due to having to cook when mom couldn’t!
Making the most of bad days
You’re going to have days that you have to cancel plans with your family. Days you can’t get out of bed or off the sofa – or you’re in the hospital. Healthy, able-bodied moms do guilt, so for those of us who battle health issues, it’s tenfold. So much guilt. Don’t do the guilt, at least try not to. Apologize to your children. Explain that you’re sick and need to rest.
With little ones, making the most of bad days means cuddle time and story time and movie marathons. Thankful for Disney movies! Lots of sofa time or time on the front porch or back patio. Your children can fetch water and snacks for you and perhaps make lunch of they are old enough.
We invested in a few backyard fire pits over the years, the wood/charcoal kind and a propane one. I highly recommend these for all families, health issue or not! They enhance family time a great deal! Even on bad days if nothing else, I could make it to the backyard in the evenings to sit around the campfire with my family for some wonderful family time! Sharing the events of our day, telling ghost stores, playing Mad Libs, telling jokes, playing charades, playing musical instruments and singing, etcetera. It truly is the small things in life! This was all very little effort and I was resting while having quality family time and making memories with my sons. Note: keep s’mores makings on hand!
That often led to watching shooting stars, campfire or not, watch shooting stars as a family especially in August during the big Perseid Meteor Shower. Trampolines are a great place for the whole family to watch shooting stars! Or lawn chairs or a blanket on the ground. If there’s too much light pollution where you live, if you’re up to it, try to drive to where there’s no light pollution in August to watch the shooting stars. Make it an annual event. Bring chairs or a blanket. Bring the fire pit!
I also joined a local museum/exploration park. There were times I could drive somewhere but not walk far or do much. We bought annual family passes and would go to our wonderful Turtle Bay Park, which is gated and safe. I could park myself on a comfy sofa or a bench outside and let my kids explore all the wonderful educational hands-on opportunities the facility has to offer while I sat and watched! They were “schooling”and having fun while I was resting. With four sons, we had the buddy system down. These places usually provide wheelchairs if needed. They’re part of a network so when we would go to my distance appointments, there were often other such museums/parks in the network we had free or discounted entry to! As well as when we traveled for pleasure! Check to see if you have one near you: http://turtlebay2.worldsecuresystems.com/documents/ASTCTravelPassport-Public-NOV2016-April2017.pdf
Making up for the bad days
I always tried to make up for the times I was unable to do much. When I felt better, we got out of the house and went camping and all kinds of adventures! I’m no longer able to ski, but I sat in the lodge and had lunch and snacks and break-times with my family – and I snapped lots of pictures and videos of them as they skied down the mountain! I make the most of it given my limitations.
I went to all their sporting events – sometimes I had to watch from the car.
I tried to keep most plans a secret/surprise so that when plans had to be canceled, my children didn’t have to be disappointed. Disneyland was always a surprise! If I had to cancel, they never knew!
Riding lessons are great for the kids and the chronically ill parent. If you can get your child into horse riding lessons and hang out with the horses during the lesson, it’s really good for the soul! They use horses for therapy for a reason! You will leave feeling better than when you arrived. And it’s free to just hang out with the horses! And your kids learn so much more than how to ride! They learn anatomy and science and how to diagnose and treat ailments! It has paid off when our pony, donkey, goats, and even our cats and dogs have had various symptoms! My kids are great at treating them or knowing when it’s time to go to the vet.
Note: Putting your kids through lifeguard school when they are old enough when you’re chronically ill can be the best thing you ever did. My son saved my life when I was in respiratory arrest. He has saved other lives as well. He was honored as a local hero.
Public School vs Homeschool – I’ve done both
Whether you homeschool or not, turn your doctor appointments into field trips/adventures! Make it as fun as possible. More on that below.
I feared that homeschooling would be more stressful and take more of a toll on my health than sending my kids off to school everyday. But I found the opposite to be true.
In public school, you have all the germs that your kids bring home to you, putting you at risk. And then there’s all the stress of having clean clothes everyday, those vanishing socks, getting up at the crack of dawn to get everyone dressed, breakfast made and consumed, homework packed up, lunches made and packed up, and get them on the bus before they miss it! Or drive them to school with all the other stressed out parents dropping their kids off before the bell rings! I’m getting anxious and jittery just remembering those days. I’ve seen more than one child get hit by a car during drop-off and pick-up time at school! It’s crazy! Even in my small town! And then there’s all the homework stress! Not to mention the ridicule when you have to pull your kid out of class to go to your long distance doctor appointments because no one will be home when school gets out. I informed the school this would be a frequent occurrence and they were supportive and understanding and compliant. But then after the third time in as many months, that I had to pull them out for a day, I got a nasty letter in the mail explaining that my children were ‘truants’ and the authorities would be notified if I pulled them out for another doc appointment!
When you homeschool, all those situations and all that subsequent stress is eliminated. Well, except for the vanishing socks, not even homeschooling cures that! But you don’t have to set the alarm and you don’t even have to get dressed! And who cares if your socks match! You can make and eat breakfast and lunch at your leisure and with your children! There’s no “homework,” per se. No deadlines unless you set them yourself and then you can always adjust them as needed or as desired.
You don’t have to pull your kids out of school for your doctor appointments, which are field trips when you homeschool. I always made them adventures/field trips.
I once told my ENT that I homeschool and my kids were in the waiting room and before I asked, he offered! He said, “then this just turned into a field trip, bring them in!” They got to watch him do a scope procedure of my trachea while he explained it all to them! They saw it all on the monitor! It was awesome!
For the times you can’t bring your children into the exam room, provide them with entertainment, and for the car/plane ride, as well. More on that here.
Another perk to homeschooling: you can make skiing, riding lessons, lifeguard school, time spent at museums, exploration parks, nat’l parks, etcetera; part of your curriculum. Real life skills. One of my sons grew up to be a ski instructor for his winter job and works at a nat’l park the rest of the year. He trained for it throughout his homeschooling years.
When you homeschool, you can do it from your bed or the sofa.
You can do it
In conclusion, I want to say, whether you homeschool or not, you can do it. My kids gave me a reason to live, to keep fighting to live every single day. To make as many wonderful memories with them as possible. Chronic illness gives you the gift of not taking your future for granted, you take advantage of the time you have and you make to most of it, especially with your children.
They are also a wonderful distraction from health issues.
Here’s to all of us raising a family while battling chronic illness ♥️
We all know that exercise is good for your overall health but for the billions of people around the world suffering from chronic inflammation, moderate exercise also reduces inflammation!
In a recent study at UC San Diego, headed up by Dr. Suzi Hong and her research team, human test subjects walked on a treadmill for twenty minutes at a rate adjusted to each individual’s fitness level. Blood samples were taken from the participants both before and immediately after the exercise sessions.
The blood test results revealed that twenty minutes of walking reduced inflammation in the body!
Moderation is key, respecting your limits, listening to your body: exercise to your personal capacity.
Over-doing it with too much exercise can be pro-inflammatory rather than anti-inflammatory.
Just like one cup of coffee is beneficial while a lot of coffee is harmful.
I watched as a marathon runner lost all bodily functions as she crossed the finish line. She was taken away in an ambulance and was hospitalized for several days. This overdose of exercise was harmful to her health – while other marathon runners cross the finish line in much better shape.
One size does not fit all no matter your level of health: not all athletes have an equal capacity for exercise and training – and not all chronically ill people have the same capacity or limitations. You must learn and respect your own capacity for physical activity.
“If you over-train/over-exercise, you typically wind up doing more harm than good, as your body needs to recuperate from the damage and inflammation incurred during your workout.” – Dr. Mercola
For those of us with health issues, physical therapy is a wonderful resource if your insurance covers it. Certified Personal Trainers who are experienced in underlying health issues are another way to go. Or just be careful and respect your physical activity capacity!
Learn the art of pushing yourself while not over-doing it. A challenging art that requires mindfulness.
“At the bare minimum, you need to get out of your chair and move every fifty minutes or so.” – Dr. Mercola
If you’re in a state of recovery, unable to stand up, there’s a great show on PBS called, ‘Sit and Be Fit.’ Been there done that. I used to record the show so I could do the workouts more than once a day. Soon I was able to get out of the chair to exercise!
Once you’re able to get up but still unable to put in the twenty-minutes-a-day and you’re on the sofa watching TV, at every commercial, get up and walk laps around the room or walk in place. This will speed up recovery so you can do that twenty-minutes-a-day sooner. I used to do those family room laps using a walker. Then I graduated to a cane. Now I walk without devices!
I still use my walker to exercise! I use it for stability to do various PT exercises, so hang onto your walker after you no longer need it for walking! Or pick one up just for exercise purposes! They work great as exercise equipment! Even my healthy, able-bodied, athletic sons have used it!
“It’s important to realize that your diet can sabotage these beneficial effects. By eating inflammatory foods, such as sugar/fructose, refined grains, trans fats, and processed foods in general, your body will generate inflammatory cytokines. And, unfortunately, you simply cannot exercise your way out of a bad diet.” – Dr. Mercola
When you seek medical attention with your local doctors and they can’t figure out what’s wrong or how to help you – this is often the case for many people seeking answers and resolution for their health issues.
Part 1: Why Can Your Doctor Not Help You?
Part 2: Higher Level Care
Part 3: Making the Most of Traveling for Medical Care
Part 4: Medical Travel Financial Assistance Resources
When you have mysterious symptoms or a serious, chronic, or rare disease, you often must travel to higher level specialists and university/research medical centers or specialized clinics.
I’ve flown out of state twice for medical care. I continue to drive five hours round-trip for my higher level care.
Part 1: Why?
Most local doctors, specialists included, do not usually have expertise in complicated, hard to diagnose, or rare disorders. Not every disease is covered in medical school.
Part 2: Higher Level Care
As an example, the chronic illness that I have, vasculitis, is most often treated by a team of specialists, as it is systemic, affecting many different organs. At the helm of the team is usually a rheumatologist, but not all rheumatologists specialize in or have any experience treating vasculitis.
Among specialists in every field, only a percentage have expertise in certain complicated and rare disorders. I call them higher-level specialists. They provide my higher level care. They studied certain conditions/diseases/disorders in addition to their specialized MD requirements.
Most rheumatologists specialize in arthritis. But higher level rheumatologists specialize in various systemic rare diseases as well.
Higher level specialists are often professors. In order to receive the care we require, we often have to travel to the university medical centers or specialized clinics where they research, teach, and practice.
Local doctors will sometimes team up and consult with your higher-level specialists regarding your care. It’s wonderful when your local doctor joins your medical team to monitor your health between your distance appointments!
But in the beginning – for diagnosis and treatment – and during flares, we often must travel to the facilities and higher-level specialists who can effectively help us get better.
If you are undiagnosed and your local doctors are unable to diagnose or help you, go to the nearest university/research medical center.
Google the higher level/university/research medical centers and/or specialized clinics in your state, or closest to you. But keep Cleveland Clinic in mind. More on Cleveland Clinic below.
Part 3: Making the Most of Traveling for Medical Care: The silver lining!
When you have to travel to appointments and your health allows, take advantage of what the area has to offer, especially if children are involved: parks, beaches, museums, ethnic/specialty restaurants, specialty shops, etcetera.
I often had to take my kids out of school for my distance appointments and always turned it into an adventure or field trip!
A few tips for traveling with children
For those long distance trips with children, entertainment in the car or on a flight, and in waiting rooms, is a great way to optimize happy travels -for all- and with today’s electronics, it’s easy. But there’s also the old fashioned travel games such as magnetic chess and checkers and age appropriate toys. And Books! Each child with their own backpack full of entertainment, snacks and water bottles helps with those long trips. Don’t forget pillows.
When I went to Mayo Clinic in Arizona, we did a road trip between appointments! I had appointments the end of one week and beginning of the next week so over the weekend, we had three days to kill, we rented a car and saw the Grand Canyon and other fabulous sites and experienced some of the local culture and history that area has to offer! We packed a lot into those three days! We even surprised our boys with a Diamondbacks-Yankees Game!
And if you find yourself at the Cleveland Clinic – which I highly recommend if other doctors and medical facilities fall short, no matter where you live, go there. People from all over the world arrive there everyday to get the help they can’t get anywhere else. I was one of them. Go in though the ER/ED if you need to.
When you get out, take in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and treat yourself to some Buckeye Balls! Ohio has its own state candy! And they’re wonderful! They might carry them in the Cleveland Clinic Gift Shop by now, on my request! And If you have time, Niagara Falls is roughly 3 1/2 hours away! Go! Schedule an extra day! Check it off your bucket list! If it’s out of the question, take in the zoo or the R&R Hall of Fame and Malley’s for some wonderful buckeye balls! The R&R Hall of Fame is great and they sell discount tickets at the Cleveland Clinic! Or take in a game: Indians, Browns, Cavaliers!
Or take advantage of the free stuff like parks, museums, or other venues unavailable near home! Google what’s available.
One of the coolest free venues we ever did were ghost towns! Fun, interesting, and very cool, for all ages.
Bonus: travel is scientifically proven improve your health! And it’s enlightening and educational which is silver lining especially for children. Watch for more on the health benefits of travel in a future blog post.
Part 4: Medical Travel Financial Assistance Resources
Some insurance providers cover gas expenses or shuttles for distance appointments, but they don’t tell you, call and ask!
If you’re hospitalized and need to be transferred to a specialty clinic, Cleveland Clinic provides global transport. They have their own fleet of medical transport aircrafts. Your insurance may cover it. Contact the Cleveland Clinic Medical Transport Department.
Transfers from local hospitals to upper level hospitals in your own state are often covered by insurance. But if not, contact the National Patient Travel Center, above, or google for resources outside the US.
Go Fund Me is another resource.
Get the care you need. You may have to travel. But you deserve proper medical care ♥️